Secret Sideshots, Outtakes, and More
by Twilighter620
Summary: Side-shots, outtakes, and other gratuitous smut and fun from the "Secret" story. Rated M for mature content.
1. Chapter 1

I know this took forever but whatevs, after you read it I'm sure I'll be forgiven.

Just a note: this is completely AU for the Secret story. Bella's not thinking this stuff in the story and neither is Edward. It was just a what-if thing I wanted to write. They have no bearing on the characters of the story or the plot.

_I don't own Twilight, but Steph owns Edward in his peaked cap & tighty whities ;) _(love you HARD woman)

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I was on the elevator, going to find Edward. Jacob and our friends were at the house when it occurred to me I had forgotten to ask him something really important. I wasn't sure if Vanessa was still around but I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue to borrow him for five minutes. It's not like I was going to do anything. I was happily committed to Jacob. She could see that herself.

How committed Edward was to _her_? Well, that was a different story. I'd never seen them interact other than that one morning at police headquarters and tonight was truly strange. His body language was totally uninviting towards her and his rebuttal of Jacob's compliment was equally cold. If I didn't know any better I'd swear Edward was living in an ice cave. Even the apartment looked sterile and completely unwelcoming from the little I could see.

I was actually completely shocked when he was at the door. I had no idea where he lived and never had any intention of finding out but for some reason I was truly happy he lived so close. Although, I wasn't entirely sure it was only his apartment.

There was a possibility Vanessa lived there but I wasn't too sure. The apartment didn't have any feminine touch and not that I was a guru on making a home warmer and more feminine but it was very obvious he had decorated it. It was all stainless steel and top of the line; the kind of stuff that looked nice but you never actually used because you'd get it dirty very quickly.

The elevator finally reached his floor and I stepped off. I began to get nervous and my body temperature rose. A slight line of perspiration was beginning to form beneath my lower lip and along my hairline. Why was I so nervous? _Because you totally have the hots for him_, my devious side snickered. I clasped my hands together and moved my fingers absentmindedly. I bit my lip and scrunched my eyebrows together.

Why was I coming here again? _Oh right because I had something to ask him._ I raised my right fist to the door and hesitated. I hadn't told Jacob I was coming here. He didn't even know I was working with Edward now. I only told him I had an emergency and asked him to cover for me. My friends were unaware of my other identity. It was something I didn't even want to tell Jacob but did so because I knew I had to. Our relationship would never survive if I kept a secret that large.

I decided to buck up and knock on the door because let's face it. I was Bella (or to Edward, Isabella) fucking Swan. I was doing nothing wrong by talking to Edward. We were completely platonic. Only "friends." There was nothing more. I was in love with Jacob. He and I would get married one day and Edward would have meaningless sex with random women until he was old and no one was into him anymore.

Although, truth be told I'm sure he'd be a good-looking older man. I could totally see him as the George Clooney type.

_Bella!_

Right, so I was about to knock on the door. My fist made contact with the metal and wood. I waited a minute and there was no response. I knocked once again and still no response. I was a little curious so I grabbed the handle. It was open. I pushed the door open and peeked my head in side.

"Hello?" I called out.

Again, no response.

I walked in and closed the door quietly behind me. I looked around the apartment. It was absolutely huge. The western wall was made entirely of glass and had a breathtaking view of Seattle. I began to feel uneasy as I thought of how much this apartment must cost him.

The only thing I could say for Edward was that he had good taste in furniture. It was all very modern and expensive-looking. I called out his name but again there was silence. I was beginning to worry that maybe he was sleeping when I finally heard the faint music. It was Chopin. The music was such a somber tone that I didn't quite understand at first. I called out his name again and pushed open what I assumed to be his bedroom door just a little.

My breathing hitched and my chest tightened. Edward was standing in front of his walk-in closet. His back was to me. He was wearing his uniform. The peaked cap was still in place and his crisp white shirt was on. His shoulder holster was also on but I quickly noticed there was no gun in place. The song ended and the room grew quiet. My heavy breathing was exposed.

Edward turned around and my knees grew weak. His shirt was open, revealing every muscle and dip of his chest and lower stomach. I'd never seen a man so beautifully defined before. He was muscular but lean at the same time. There was no bulk to his obvious strength, just the chiseled planes of his abdomens and pectorals. I began to feel the need to run the tips of my fingers down his chest. I made eye contact with him and he breathed my name. I absolutely loathed my full name but hearing _him_ say it made it so much more desirable.

My lips trembled and I had every intention of saying his name back just because it felt appropriate but I was completely under his control. My lips parted and he shook his head so unnoticeably I wasn't sure if it really happened. He unstrapped and took off the shoulder holster. He tossed it to the side and I was kind of sad to see it go. I was never a fan of violence or weapons but gosh I was really turned on by seeing him wear it.

My ever-noble conscience was screaming at me to leave because the fact he was stalking towards me and taking off his shirt only meant one thing. My libido was screeching back that I wanted to know what this would be like for weeks and who was I to stop him? My libido won out because well…Edward was now shirtless and right in my face.

"I should ask what you're doing here but I don't care," he whispered.

I was staring at his Adam's apple. I swallowed hard and audibly. My eyes trailed up to meet his and they were smoldering. His stare was even more intense than the one he'd given me after I slapped him last month. I noticed that his cap was still on and I smiled. His eyes questioned me in response.

"Keep the hat on?" I requested.

He glanced up at the hat and smirked a little before looking at me. He smiled his crooked smile and I knew he was agreeing. His left index finger came up and hovered above my cheek. The heat emanating from my skin was embarrassing. Once he made soft contact my eyes closed and everything became heightened. It was a sensory experience.

His finger slowly trailed from my cheek, past my jaw, down my throat, to my collarbone, and finally to the valley between my breasts. I opened my eyes. Edward's deep green ones were transfixed on the leather I was wearing. He pinched the zipper between his thumb and forefinger but didn't move.

I exhaled shakily, my body trembling with every release. He tugged it down infinitesimally and one set of teeth was undone. He glanced up and I stared back. I didn't have it in me to tell him to stop. We both wanted this more than anything in the world combined. At least I knew _I _did. It was the curiosity and pull between us. I just wanted to know what he'd be like.

Edward pulled it down some more and I could feel the tops of my breasts relax from their previous confines. Edward looked back down at the zipper and pulled it down slowly but completely. His eyes trailed from the undone zipper at the top of my waist, up my chest, to my eyes. He gulped a bit when he noticed I wasn't a bra. I silently urged him with my eyes to kiss me already. I wanted to taste him.

I wanted to know if he tasted as good as I had always suspected he did. I grabbed his hands and placed them around my neck. I cradled his face in response and his eyes smoldered even more darkly. There was a slight amber in his solid green eyes. It reminded me of embers from a fire. I leaned forward and he crushed his lips to mine.

I wanted to gasp in surprise but my mouth was completely covered. His feather-soft lips were urgent and pleading against mine. My hands left his face and I threw my arms around his neck. I almost knocked his cap off so I pulled back for a second and adjusted his cap. When I looked back at Edward he was smirking.

He lifted me up without warning and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. He threw me onto his bed and fell on top of me. He kissed me frantically while I pushed back against him. His tongue slid past my top lip and I gave him what he wanted because he was polite enough to share his intentions. No awkward or gross shoving of tongues into people's mouths.

I was hyper-aware of the fact his hands were now grabbing at the sides of my leather jumpsuit. He pulled the material past my shoulder at a snail's pace. I would've urged him to go quicker but I was content with his tongue fucking my mouth and his groin grinding into mine. I needed to breathe so I, unfortunately, pulled back and titled my head. Edward obliged and started kissing my jaw, up to my ear.

"God, Isabella you have no idea how badly I wanted to peel this suit off of you earlier," he whispered in my ear and nipped my ear lobe.

I arched into him while he pulled the leather from my back. My chest was now completely exposed. The cool air hit immediately and my body reacted. Edward pulled back momentarily and straddled my waist. I gulped as he crawled down my body. He got to my waist and looked up at me from under his eyelashes.

He slowly peeled the sleeves off my arms and my entire upper body was bare. Once the top portion of my jumpsuit was sitting at my waist he looked at his progress. His eyes widened when he noticed I was not, in fact, wearing pasties or anything to cover my breasts with this outfit. I couldn't decide who was more thankful me or Edward.

"Isabella," he whispered almost reverently and for a split second my stomach did flip-flops because I'd never felt so proud of my girls.

He stared at my body through narrow eyes and with a look of hunger. He licked his lips as if he was fucking LL Cool J and I whimpered. His green eyes shot back to mine and he stared at me so intensely. His index fingers came to my shoulders and I shuddered slightly at his touch. They ghosted down my arms. He moved back up to my shoulders and placed a kiss on each side.

He began with my right arm and placed a trail of a searing hot kisses down my arm. When he got to my hand he lifted my palm to his lips and placed a tender kiss while he maintained eye-contact. It was soft and romantic and I'd never felt more beautiful. He did the same with my left arm and hand but I couldn't stand to be away from him any longer.

I grabbed his neck and pulled his lips to mine because I hadn't got enough of those lips of his yet tonight. Edward was a fantastic kisser. I coaxed his mouth open by sliding my tongue along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth wider and with more force to allow my tongue in. His tongue was warm, and smooth, and just amazing. I was losing my ability to think and formulate intelligent responses.

I felt his hand ghost up the side of my thigh. I shivered slightly and he pulled back from our conjoined mouths only slightly to smile. Suddenly, his hand was right below my right breast and he paused. It was the first time he had paused to gauge my reaction. He was trying not to scare me off. I reached my free hand down and placed it on top his. I placed his hand on my breast and let go.

Edward grabbed me firmly but with a careful softness. He wasn't going to be rough and grabby. He was going to worship my body just like he'd been doing all night. There wasn't a second that had passed where I didn't feel appreciated. I pulled away breathless and my head leaned back against the pillows of his bed. His lips moved to my neck and my eyes fluttered.

I noticed he was still wearing that peaked cap and I smiled. His kisses moved to my collarbone. He sucked and nipped at my skin and I moaned loudly. I bit my lip due to my embarrassment. Edward chuckled deeply and the vibration of his laughter against my skin sent chills down my spine.

He dragged his top lip down to my breast and teased me. He never touched my right nipple but danced around it. I wanted to fist his hair but the hat was on, so I settled for putting my hand behind his neck and pushing him into my skin. His teeth finally grazed my nipple and I let out a stuttered breath.

His mouth went to work on my right breast while his hand moved around. He never stayed in one place for too long. It was as if he was memorizing every piece of my body. My right hand ran down his arm and my God his biceps were as hard as steel. I could feel his muscles straining as he held himself up. I felt guilty for all his work so I pulled his mouth back to mine and decided to take control.

I rolled us over despite his hesitance and reached blindly for his belt buckle. I accidentally brushed against his crotch and felt how hard and big he was. His cock twitched and my stomach flopped again. I was imagining how he'd fill me up and I began to become even more aroused. Edward probably wouldn't last long when he realized I wasn't wearing underwear with this outfit either.

I undid his belt buckle finally and threw it off the side of the bed. I yanked his zipper down and popped the button open. The pants needed to come off already! I pulled them down and released Edward's lips. I crawled down his body, along with the pants, and threw them on the floor. I looked up at him from underneath my lashes in the same manner he had.

I glanced at his how pantless lower half and smirked when I noticed he was wearing white boxer briefs. He was standing at attention and I grinned. I pulled out his thick cock and he groaned. His eyes slid shut and God he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. His chest was defined, his face was chiseled, his lips were parted and swollen from kissing, and that damn sexy hat was still on.

I used the precum from his swollen head to stroke him. His head fell into the pillows silently and he thrust forward. I stroked him from base to tip and back down again. The look on his face was enough to tell me I was doing okay. My hand started to cramp and I got curious about what he tasted like so I released him. He looked at me incredulously.

His eyes widened when I kneeled over his cock, relaxed my throat, and opened my mouth. I wrapped my lips around him and he grunted. The taste of him was sinful but I highly doubted anything tonight would be about righteousness and nobility. As my head bobbed, he fisted my hair and mumbled incoherently. I could tell he wouldn't hold out much longer so I let go of him and sat up.

I stepped off the bed to take my boots off and take the lower half of my jumpsuit off. When I crawled back into the bed, Edward's boxer briefs were missing. I pressed my lips to his and straddled his waist. His strong hands grabbed my hips. I pulled back and looked at him. Our eyes locked and there was an understanding that we both needed this. We had this intense attraction and connection. We cared for each other too much for this to be wrong. I positioned myself right above his cock and lowered myself slowly. His eyes snapped shut and his head fell back. I moaned and he squeezed my right hip letting me know he felt the same way. I forced my eyes open and his green ones were staring back at me.

"You are _so_ beautiful," he groaned out.

I rolled my hips into Edward slowly. It was sensual and more erotic than any sex I'd ever had. Even my most adventurous sexcapades paled in comparison to how I felt in this moment. I could tell there was something more than just raw lust despite the extradinory attraction and sexual tension there was between us.

Edward's firm hands controlled my movements. I placed my hands on his chest to steady myself as our heavy breathing filled the silence. He started to thrust his hips into mine and I whimpered. He was hitting me in places I'd never felt. I threw my head back and moaned his name loudly.

"Shit, Isabella. Say it…again," he requested.

"Edward," I moaned.

The feeling of him inside me was more than I had imagined. I forced my eyes open and Edward's were closed. I could see the veins and muscles in his neck straining as he ground his teeth together. His strong arms were tensed despite the much less than rough grip his hands had on my waist.

It was a contradiction to the way his body was loving me. It was passionate but there was nothing primal about it. No dirty talk or forcefulness. Just one man worshipping my body the way I always knew only he could.

"I don't know…how much longer…I'll last," he warned.

I grabbed his neck and pushed myself against his cock. The pace quickened and I could feel my orgasm on the brink. He sat up and our chests become flushed together; our heads in the crook of each other's neck.

"Edward, I'm going to…"

He thrust one hard one and I lost it. I screamed out and Edward covered my mouth with his own as he came. I collapsed on top of Edward and he fell back into the bed. I kissed him with wild abandon and an intensity I'd never felt before. He rolled us over and kissed me back hard. I pulled back once I was breathless and sighed. I leaned my chin on his shoulder as he panted against my body.

"Thank you," he breathed out.

I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and wrapped my arms around his body.

"For what?" I whispered.

"For you."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 24 outtake...an AU-Secret scene. What would have happened in the hotel room if it were real?

_I don't own Twilight._

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I fell onto my bed in a heap and sighed. I slipped my tux jacket off and threw it across the room blindly. I was still hot though, so I slipped out of my entire tuxedo until I was just wearing my boxers.

"Edward," a distinct voice whispered.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, with an arm thrown over my eyes.

Her warm hand pulled my arm away. I reluctantly looked into her eyes. Her eyes were questioning as I looked into them. Apparently, she didn't like it when I ignored her. I smirked at her slight scowl. Before she knew it, I flipped over and pinned her to the bed. Bella stared at me for a long minute before her expression softened. I lowered my head to hers and pressed my lips to her mouth.

Her breath came out in a wild gasp and she threw herself into the kiss. Abruptly, her hands were behind my neck, tugging on my hair and rubbing the skin there in ways that should be illegal. Very slowly, I started to lower my weight onto hers. Bella took to it nicely and wrapped her arms around my body more tightly.

My mouth went slow despite her insistence. She was begging me for more but I wouldn't give it to her. Her hands tugged roughly on my hair, trying to bother me. She growled and bucked her hips into mine as best she could despite the weight. I groaned and rolled over, pulling her on top of me. It was dark in the room but I could see a wicked smile on her face.

Slowly, very slowly, she started to grind herself against my embarrassing erection. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd been this hard. All those other times when I'd had to relieve myself because of Bella's little antics and touches were nothing in comparison. The friction was burning me from the inside out.

Unable to stop myself, I slipped my fingers beneath the fabric of her blouse and pushed the material up. Her flat stomach was revealed and I moaned at the sight while she continued to grind. I yanked the blouse off and threw it blindly across the room. I sat up and pressed my lips to hers while I hooked my fingers beneath the straps of her bra. I pushed the straps down slowly and moved my lips down her neck. Bella grabbed onto my shoulders while my kisses descended to her collarbone.

"Edward," she sighed.

I sucked the soft skin and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. That article of clothing also went missing as I placed a teasing kiss to the swell of her breast. Bella rocked her hips into mine more frantically as I took her right breast between my lips.

"Ahhh," she gasped as the sensation of my hot breath hit her sensitive skin.

I flicked her hardened nipple with my tongue and she jumped slightly in my arms. I brought my mouth back to hers as she ran her hand down my back, dragging her nails lightly. Bella slipped her tongue into my mouth and stroked mine delicately. I pushed her backwards and pulled away from her lips to trail wet kisses down her body. I arrived at the button of her jeans and undid it with a smile.

She smiled bashfully in return and watched my hand pull down the zipper. Bella lifted her hips to help me remove her jeans. I peeled them off slowly, dragging out the torture. I was pleased to see she had removed her socks and shoes before climbing into the bed. The only pieces of clothing now were our underwear.

I slid my nose along the inside of her thigh and she trembled. When I came to the apex of her legs, I looked up at her. Apprehension and anticipation colored her features. I gave a soft kiss to her underwear and crawled back up her body.

"Mmm," I sighed in contentment as her lips met mine eagerly.

Bella's hands wrapped around my neck as I fisted her hair with one of my own. My free hand came to her underwear. I slowly pulled the fabric down, wanting her to forget her apprehension. I wanted her to be distracted so I slipped my tongue in her mouth. We wrestled for control as I momentarily forgot about the underwear.

Bella's legs came to my hips and she pushed my boxers down with her feet. I continued my own task and was rewarded with the feeling of her wetness against my thigh. I pulled away from her mouth breathless, and waited before her entrance. Bella cupped my cheek and kissed my lips once. I slipped between her wet folds and bit back a moan.

I waited for a moment before I slid back out and thrust in again. Bella's eyes fluttered to a close and her head lolled. I kissed her neck and continued thrusting into her warmth. I loved being inside of her. She wrapped a leg around my left calf and urged me to go faster. I quickened my pace and was overwhelmed by the sound of my name falling of Bella's lips in a mantra.

"Oh, God," she whimpered.

I focused my attention. Bella wasn't ready to come yet and I wanted to hold out a little longer. I refused to be distracted by her erotic moans and gasps. I rose onto my forearms and thrust upward, hoping to stimulate her in ways she'd never forget. Bella ran a hand through her hand.

"Yes, Edward," she moaned.

"Feel it Bella," I urged, "I want to make you feel good."

Bella wrapped her other leg around my calf and bucked her hips to meet my thrusts. She cried out immediately at the newfound sensation.

"Keep going, Edward. Faster," she pled.

I went faster. The sheer determination to hold back told me she was close. She was trying to prolong the experience. I thrust in quicker and pressed our hips together more tightly, rubbing myself against her clit.

"I'm going to," she warned without finishing.

Bella's face changed as she clenched around my cock and came hard. I spilled my release into her, spurring another orgasm from Bella. I kept thrusting until she asked me to stop. I stilled and looked at her. Her hand was over her racing heart. Her breasts were teasingly bouncing with her labored breaths. I kissed her cheek and pressed my forehead against her own.

"Bella, that was phenomenal."

"Good. I didn't come all the way over to Chicago for mediocre," she grinned.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella's POV of the explosion during Chapter 24:

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**Bella Swan**

I was running. I'd be lying if I said everything I'd just done in the last half-hour wasn't all part of a plan. It was a plan to confront Edward and finally just admit how I felt about him.

I'd been cowering in Charlie's house for the last month and a half. Today I woke up with a newfound determination to get my life back on track. The first part of my list included Edward. So I kept running because, sue me, I was flirting hardcore right now.

Abruptly I found myself overwhelmed by the sound of an explosion. I stumbled and fell forward. My ears rang and my palm stung. I looked down and noticed my hands were freshly scraped. I grabbed my hair to steady myself and make the headache I was suddenly suffering from dissipate.

_Edward._

I turned around and saw him unmoving on the floor. Panic swept through me and I immediately stood up on shaky legs and clumsily ran over to him. His face was pressed against the cement floor and I could see a huge gash in his forehead. My hands started to flutter.

I wanted to stop the bleeding but I didn't know how. What if I touched him and his wounds became infected? Tears started to form and fall across my face. I noticed his wrist was swollen as well. I was completely out-of-my-league. I had no idea what to do. I was so helpless at that moment.

A second explosive sound went off and I ducked over Edward protectively. I looked back up and his car was in ruins. The frame was the only recognizable part through the red and orange flames. Smoke was billowing out rapidly and filling the sky with a dark gray color. I tried to stop crying and focus.

I checked Edward's neck for pulse. It was the most terrifying thing I'd ever done. I couldn't tell if he was still breathing and I didn't know what I'd do if he wasn't. I clenched my eyes shut when I felt his vein pulse beneath my fingers. It was the best feeling I'd ever know. Edward's heart beating would be the most important thing in my life whether he knew it or not.

I brushed his hair back and my hands shook violently when I pulled them away. I just needed him to wake-up. I needed him to be okay. God must have heard my pleas because a second later Edward's eyes started to slowly open. His eyes seemed unfocused until I couldn't stop myself and I called his name.

"Edward?" I asked cautiously.

His green eyes seemed to sharpen and he looked up at me. He studied me slowly. In any other instance I would have been embarrassed by his stare but I couldn't be concerned at that moment.

"Edward, can you hear me? Do you know where you are? It's me, Bella," I told him with hysteria creeping into my unsteady voice.

His eyes slipped shut again and I choked on a whimper. No! Open your eyes, Edward. Look at me! He opened them again but this time there was sheer panic in his expression. Edward unsuccessfully tried to get up and I softly pushed him back down. He couldn't move yet.

"No! No! Edward, just lay. You can't move. You've got some bad head wounds. I think maybe your wrist is sprained too."

Edward's eyes had that glazed look to them again. He must have been completely and utterly confused.

"Bella!" he shouted so abruptly that I flinched.

I looked at him anxiously. Oh, God. What was wrong with him? What if he had brain damage?

"Bella, you have to leave. They'll ask you questions. They'll figure out that you're his daughter. You have to go," he urged.

I was shaking my head as soon as he said I needed to leave. Damn everything and everyone to hell. I couldn't leave him. How do you leave the one person you love most when they're helpless and hurt? I loved him for being so selfless but my identity wasn't my concern at the moment. It was Edward and his injuries.

What mattered to me was that he'd be okay. I'd deal with Charlie and who exactly I was later on. He couldn't ask me to leave. When he asked me things I did them. He was asking me the one thing I couldn't bring myself to do at the moment.

"No! Not a chance in hell! I can't leave you here! You can't ask me to!" I shouted at him.

I was slightly angry with him for asking this of me. My voice broke and I knew I should be crying hysterically but I was so mad. This couldn't be happening. All I'd wanted was to tell him I loved him.

"Yes," Edward argued back, "leave now! You have to leave now so you can avoid it!"

I stared at Edward helplessly. I needed him to take it back. _Don't ask this of me_, my thoughts shouted.

"Hide," he simply stated with a stern look.

Edward grabbed one of my hands and the warmth that spread through me was incomparable. He squeezed it with a soft grip. He was begging me to go. His eyes were begging me to go. My hands were shaking. I tried to steady them but it was the only thing I couldn't get under control. I brushed his hair back again and stood up.

I practically bit my bottom lip so hard it was bleeding so I wouldn't breakdown in front of him. No crying. I needed to be strong for Edward. I froze for a moment and looked at him. His long body looked weak and fragile on the cement. He seemed so small in that moment. I forced myself to move my feet and turn away. I heard the sirens screeching. As I reached the stairwell I took one last look at him before I turned my back on the one person I never wanted to.

Headquarters was being evacuated as I furtively cased the building and figured out how I would make sure Edward left safely. I needed to see him, but I still thought of how I'd go about telling Charlie. I hid out in an alleyway two blocks down until the commotion wore off. I snatched my phone from my pocket and was glad to see the only damage it had was a few scratches.

I pressed the speed dial button and left Charlie a voicemail. I knew he was at the crime scene. I didn't expect him to pick-up but I couldn't let him leave the office without seeing me. I heard an ambulance and looked up. It was being led by a police escort. My heart clenched. I knew that had to be the ambulance Edward was in. My phone started to buzz in my pocket and I picked it up without checking the caller I.D.

"Bella?"

"Dad."

"What's wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm on my way home. Is there any way you can get there soon? I need to talk," my voice broke and I started to sniff.

"Sure. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay," I whispered.

I called a taxi and slipped in wordlessly. The man didn't comment on my appearance. I had unsuccessfully tried to remove the dirt and ash from my face. I told him the wrong address and paid him when I got out. I walked the three blocks down to Charlie's house and headed straight for my bedroom. I heard the alarm chime and I turned around. Wow. That was quick.

"Bella!" Charlie called out hurriedly.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. His eyes went huge and his face started to drain color. Charlie rushed over to me when he regained his faculties. He grabbed my face between his hands.

"Bella. What the _hell_ happened to you?!" he shouted.

I looked away from his eyes.

"I-I was there. I was with Edward," I whispered.

He removed his hands from my face as if they'd been burned. He stepped back and looked at me blankly. I looked up at him nervously.

"You what?" he choked out.

"I was there when the explosion happened. I was going to stay but….He told me to leave. He didn't want to mess things up—"

"_What_ were you doing with him?" Charlie seethed.

I felt like a child being scolded.

"We were just talking. I hadn't seen him in a while," I stuttered.

Charlie's eyes closed and his nostrils flared.

"Bella, I have to end this. The department doesn't need your help anymore. We'll manage."

I blinked. He had been the one to support me in helping the department.

"What? Why?"

"It's too dangerous. As the Chief of Police, I'm telling you that we don't need your services anymore. You've been terminated."

I walked forward and looked him dead in the eye.

"No. You can't do that. You're being unfair. You're not being the Chief. You're being a dad."

"You're damn right I am!" he growled.

I flinched and jumped back.

"Do you _see_ your face right now? You're covered in soot! Edward is in the hospital right now with a concussion. You two could have been killed!"

"But—"

"NO! That's it, Bella. It's over!"

Charlie walked away from me and disappeared out the front door. I flinched when I heard the door slam shut. My arm wrapped around my midsection. I felt so alone and ashamed. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but Charlie had made me feel so guilty. Edward was in the hospital with a concussion. I'd _left_ him.

I crumpled into a heap on the floor and swallowed. I heard Charlie's car screech out of the driveway and I placed my head on his hardwood floor. I pulled out my cell phone and called headquarters to get in contact with the one person I needed to speak to most right now—Emmett.


	4. Chapter 4

The next chapter of _Secret_ should be posted tomorrow, barring any major dilemmas. There is an author's note at the bottom. I was going to write a blog but I know not everyone reads it so I wanted it to be accessible.

Also a note: The Eddie and Bellie Awards started accepting Bellie award nominations today. Nominate your favorite stories! I'm going to be nominating a whole bunch of my own. Make limona and wtvoc feel super appreciated for dedicating their time to the awards. It's more time-consuming than you can imagine, and I'm sure a great response is the best way to show your appreciation. limona is a great supporter of Secret! A link to the awards is on my profile.

_I don't own Twilight...obviously ;)_

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**Edward Masen**

**- Interlude -**

Resignation.

It seemed to be the only word that had significance in my life. I was resigned to living. I was resigned to being an officer. I was resigned to my responsibilities as said officer. I was resigned to life without Bella.

Was it really even life?

I clenched the steering wheel once more and thought about something my mother had once told me.

"_Sometimes we try so hard for things to happen and they don't turn out the way we want them to. You put in all the effort and strength to keep something from happening, or make that thing happen, and in the end you end up where you didn't expect to be..."_

I didn't realize until later on in life that she had been discussing my father. She had done everything in her power to stop her marriage from falling apart, but in the end she was left high and dry. She had nothing to show for their 11-year marriage aside from a rambunctious nine-year-old.

I sighed.

When did life get to this point? How did I let things get this far?

I was being controlled by a foul-tempered Police Chief. I was alienating the most important person in my life.

She probably would never want to see me again. Bella was forgiving, but until what point? I knew she didn't take things lying down. I hadn't expected her to let me go without a fight. I was honestly in shock when I hung up the phone that day.

Maybe I had miscalculated the nature of our relationship.

It was a house of cards honestly. Lies, whether by omission or not, were not the basis for any stable relationship. I'd been lying to her for months about the way I felt. Not to mention the excuse I'd given her about her safety. That was another lie on the list.

Sure, after the explosion I had been shaken up but what man wouldn't be? The truth was that Bella could take care of herself. She was tougher than nails. She was tougher than me. If I was trying to do anything about our relationship, it was only trying to protect her from _me_.

It was clear that I couldn't protect myself. I figured it was like Carlisle's motto, "the plumber lives in a house with busted pipes." I was the officer that could protect a small army but I couldn't save my ass for anything. My car had been bombed and I'd gotten at least two more death threats since then. None of it mattered though. Because if I was a different person I'd use my new FBI contacts and place Bella in witness protection or something if I had to.

But I wasn't.

I was Lieutenant Edward and that was more destructive than anything Danny Fiori could come up with.

Bella deserved a perfect gentleman. She deserved someone who would come home every night with a smile—not a new scar. Bella deserved someone who didn't let her father control him like a submissive puppy. She deserved a guy who could be man enough to finally say "I love you." Bella deserved someone who didn't spend their life in constant violence.

The witness protection option would never come up for those reasons. There would never be a relationship. Bella didn't love me. Her easy defeat last month was proof enough. We certainly weren't friends anymore. I'd done a stand-up job of destroying that as well.

It was something I'd never realized about myself until recently.

Everything I'd done in the months I'd known Bella was under the pretense of "protecting her." It was to protect her from danger. It was to protect her identity. It was to protect her because Charlie asked me to.

It was all bull. All fake pretenses I hadn't realized before.

I was subconsciously pushing her away. I knew myself. I knew I couldn't give her the chance to love me back. So I forced her away.

Again, I had no idea when this had happened. I didn't know when I'd become this Lieutenant-person instead of Edward. The Edward I used to know didn't push the people he loved away. The fact I had Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie in my life was proof to that fact.

Yet I felt helpless to change it. It felt like I didn't remember the Edward I used to be. I was resigned to being this _person_.

I remembered the second part of Esme's little monologue from years ago.

"…_but then you wonder. What if I hadn't done anything? I'd still be in the same situation, wouldn't I? Or would fate have altered its course and brought me to the place I expected to be without any of my own intervention? It's like the silly theories you come up with when you're driving. You know the bridge typically has traffic, so you skip it. You take the freeway and then encounter a freak accident. You're stuck in traffic and late to work anyway. But what if you took the bridge and made it to work on time like you expected to by taking the freeway? Should you or shouldn't you interfere in life?"_

I didn't have the answer to that question yet. Esme had mentioned that conversation in passing, once, a couple years ago and told me she had the answer. I had chuckled and told her to share, but she declined. She told me I'd find out the answer in my own time.

To be resigned or _not_ to be resigned—that was the question.

The question that I avoided at all costs these days.

I glanced ahead and slowed down a bit as I approached a light. I looked out my windshield and noticed something pink towards my right. I squinted but couldn't make it out because of the harsh rain. The headlights on my new Volvo were strong but were no match for the torrential rain I was driving in. The light finally changed. I drove slowly towards the pink object.

I narrowed my eyes and noticed that it seemed to be the body of a truck. There was something deeply familiar about the pink blob. I stopped the car and put it in park. I seriously doubted anyone was around anyway. I leaned over towards the passenger side to get a better look but couldn't get a good visual.

I slid the passenger side window down slightly and grabbed my flashlight. I ran it over the body of the truck. I realized it was actually a rusty red color instead of the pink I had first noticed. I pulled the flashlight back and raised the window in a semi-catatonic state.

A red truck.

I scurried out of the car faster than I could think. I knocked on the window once.

"Bella!"

I couldn't stop myself from yelling out and as soon as her name left my mouth I realized I was an idiot because she was probably in one of the homes on this block but—

The car door flew forward and nearly took out my stomach. My eyes were in disbelief. Bella yanked me forward into the cab and I slammed the metal door behind me.

Eventually after we settled into my car, on the way to her house, the talking began.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

I didn't look at her. Why should I look at her? I had _ruined_ her. What was I going to do? Destroy her even further. Destroy the beautiful woman who had been on my mind every second of every day since the last time I'd spoken to her?

"I know what happened," she said quietly.

I stopped the flinch. What did she think she knew? She didn't know anything about me and if I could ride this pretense of me being dangerous for her to be around she never would.

"I know what happened with you and Charlie. He told me the truth and I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Charlie.

My whole body tensed. Of course he'd make himself out to be the good guy in this situation. I mean he might as well. I wasn't going to try and make myself the good guy. I was already about to lie to her.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. He was right and I made my own decisions," I replied evenly, hoping to make my voice sound as emotionless as possible.

Becoming emotionally invested was the problem to begin with. I'd become emotionally invested in someone who didn't love me. I was invested in someone that would never get the opportunity to. I was a poor excuse for a man.

"So you don't regret what happened at all? You really meant it? You want me to stay away from you."

I sighed.

Stop pushing, Bella. You don't know who you're dealing with. Has the last month not shown you anything? You. Deserve. Better. It doesn't make me want you any less, but it doesn't change the fact.

Enter: Lie #2

"I just…I'm trying to protect you, Bella. I practically got demoted recently and there are at least 50 people who wouldn't mind me showing up dead tomorrow. The FBI has completely taken over my case and I don't want you involved anymore than you need to be. Your father hates me. I'm just trying to change that, and seeing you doesn't help my case. I don't want to lose my job."

Okay, so the last two parts were true. Charlie _did_ hate me. I _did_ want to keep my job. Having Bella wasn't an option, so I figured if I should be "dedicated" to anything in my life it might as well be my job.

"I don't want it to be this way. I care about you and—"

Strike Three.

"Stop," I cut her off, "Please stop. I'm going insane here, Bella. I don't need or want your pity. I made a choice. After I drop you home, that's it."

There was truth in that as well. It didn't make me redeemable but it was still honest.

I didn't want or deserve her pity. It made me feel even worse for what I did to our relationship. I internally groaned. I needed to stop calling it that. It wasn't a relationship. I did things like alienate her and cut her off. "Friends" didn't do that.

I loved her unconditionally.

By those standards, this situation was completely unfair. But when considering the terrible person I was, I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. I'd just continue living my life in this manner, pushing away the one thing that mattered most, and asking fate why this happened this way.

I would be condemned to walking this earth with a wasted heart and crushed spirit. In a bittersweet way, it made sense. It would be the punishment for me falling in love with someone who didn't need it. I figured the only thing I could do was to resign myself. I would resign myself to continue thinking about her. It was the most I could do.

She needed someone better than me.

I retreated within myself as I'd grown accustom to doing lately. No more strategy—just _Bella_. I chose my favorite Bella moment and lingered on it as I continued the drive to her house.

"_Will you text me when you land?" I asked, "Just to make sure you're safe," I clarified._

_She smiled at me and nodded. I grinned back and brushed her flyaways once again._

"_Merry Christmas, Bella," I whispered._

"_Merry Christmas, Edward."_

* * *

And there you have it. The interlude.

So, Edward lied? I bet no one saw that coming.

You're probably hoping for some clarification about the things he says he lied about. He didn't lie at first when he told Bella they shouldn't be friends or anything because of the danger factor. When he called her and spoke to her, he truly believed that. The reason why it becomes a lie _later_ is because he realizes how silly the concept is. I didn't include it in the interlude, but a few days after the "break-up," Edward starts to think about what he's done to his relationship with Bella. He starts to contemplate her response. And he realizes his fatal error. He was both lying to Bella and himself about the danger factor because of how shaken up he was. Later on, when he has a clearer mindset, he realizes that,

A. it's absurd to think that Bella can't handle herself,

B. ridiculous to think he's incapable of doing his job, and

C. he got totally snowed by Charlie's overreaction

As all you _Secret_ readers know, Edward is brilliant at his job. It's the one thing he's truly successful at. Given a new determination, I'm sure Edward would be able to keep Bella safe. After all, it's not her that Fiori is after. It's Edward. They're not dating and you have to keep in mind the one-shot seems like something that would happen in an alternate universe. As far as Edward's concerned, they'll never be anything more than what they are because Bella isn't in love with him. Should things continue that way, Edward just needs to keep Bella separate from his work. He knows Charlie has stopped Bella from working for the department by that point so that's taken care of. Hence the reason why his initial action turns out to be a lie.

The other lies…well, they're pretty self-explanatory. The entire conversation in the car during the end of last chapter was a lie on Edward's part. His responses were to brush Bella off. He sees himself as this low person that isn't even a fraction of what Bella deserves. Edward hates that he's the person he is but he feels helpless to change that. He's resigned to being Lieutenant-Detective Edward Anthony Masen. He feels like it's his punishment for being the person he is. It'll be during the one-shot that Bella reminds him of the Edward that exists inside of him.

_From the one-shot:_

"_Don't say anything. You'll ruin it. Just accept what you feel Edward. You're not Lieutenant Masen. You're Edward," she counters._

In Edward's mind, he's just constantly taunted by fate. Bella is the ultimate bait but he won't allow himself to get hooked anymore. He won't allow her to return whatever it is that she may feel for him. He's accepted his "punishment."

One more major thing this chapter that I feel I should mention is Esme's monologue. That question will be answered sometime after the one-shot. The question of where Bella and Edward expect to be after they finally consummate their relationship will be answered as well. Will they get everything they expected out of it or will things continue to fall apart? Will Edward continue to push away Bella even though they've declared themselves? What will Bella do now that she's finally placed the last proverbial nail in her coffin as far as her relationship with Edward goes? Is Edward really correct in his assumption that as long as he keeps Bella separate from his work things will work out? What about Charlie?

I hope this chapter better shows Edward. I'm trying to liken these characters and their behaviors as much as possible to the people we encounter in the one-shot. I will warn you though that at times, reading the one-shot may seem redundant. You'll have to understand that when I wrote it I needed to explain the situation to a larger audience. All you beautiful and supportive readers know and understand the complexities and emotions of the characters already and you know all the events that have led up to that point. I ask that you just bear with me. There are minor details that have been adjusted or omitted but in general it's the same exact original one-shot. It's still in present-tense. I considered changing that but for some reason I like it best in present-tense. It makes everything more real in my opinion. You feel like Edward in that moment.

Anyway, this "author's note" has gone on way too long. I'll be happy to answer any questions so review please and share your feedback on the interlude or your thoughts on what I've shared. The only thing I ask is that you _don't_ ask me what the next chapter is about.

**It's the one-shot!**

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What's your favorite Bella and Edward moment from Secret?


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